I did it!
I sent the photo (only one cause I was that freaked out) but I did it. I wrote a defensive line of words with snarly overtones.
He met them with laughter. He called me beautiful and crazy and a worry wart. Then he made fun of my socks. This is nice, but theres much more here than just a great guy. I’M in a different place.
I am no longer ok internally with being fat. I don’t think we are concious of our fat comfort. Maybe comfort isnt the correct word. Our fat PARADIGM would be close to the truth. It is what we KNOW, to imagine or know uis differently is very hard for us wretched cresatures called humans. I dont dislike myself, I dig the Hell out of me. But the weight is ,literally and figuratively, weighing my life down, keeping me back. That hit me this morning, my baggage is literally weight I am carrying around.
I stayed fat for many reasons.I dont have to deal with sexual advances from men, or jealousy from my mate. It means the people who talk with me want to deal with me and not my attractiveness, they want to talk to ME not my pretty eyes or my boobs.I am no longer a scared little girl with no coping mechanisms to fight off unwanted attention. I am perfectly capable of turning someone off with a look or a statement (I AM from Jersey after all) So to quote my friend “Quit being a big baby”
So yea…heres to shedding my fat suit and running around buck free and wild.R
Oh, I do love that and completely identify! You will rock it I am sure! Can’t wait to see your progress along the way.
That is awesome girl–see, told ya your beautiful!
Alright girl, your ready to drop that fatsuit, me too–lets kick some butt this week. We can do it!!
Have an awesome day.